Tag Archives: women

Monday Motivations: Fake Fashion, True Trendsetting


Monday Motivations: Fake Fashion, True Trendsetting

There are as many places on the net that will tell you what, when, why and who to wear. But there is something much more important than the latest instagram “selfie” or the latest and greatest place to find that killer look. More important than our outer appearance is the person we are each day when we “suit up,” our inner person. Have we achieved and clothed ourselves in the best qualities that will make us a better person each day? We live in a world fraught with frivolity, fifteen minute fame and superficiality. Reality TV titillates our taste buds for bad behavior and the exploitation of our women, perpetuates our propensity and toleration of the Man-child and ultimately corrupts our views of healthy relationships.

Lets get refocused. Let’s not be the social norm, let’s be true trendsetters. Let’s rally around substance over surface, selflessness over selfishness. Let’s stop trying to live the THE lifestyle and start living purposeful lives. Let’s start addressing the issues that keep us from having healthy relationships with our sons & daughters, husbands or wives, our baby’s mothers or fathers, Let’s start spending more time on the person we are on the INSIDE as we do on the outside. Let’s be character tailors, true trendsetters, let’s…

“Vestire Internamente”
(Dress Internally)

TheStyleGent

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Monday Motivations: “No Makeup” Today



I don’t usually don’t write a lot of posts on women, but this Kendrick Lamar song struck me a certain way and I thought it best to talk to you today.

With all the pressures you face each day, the continuous assaults on your self-esteem, the pressure to keep up at work, at home and everywhere in between. This is an open letter of encouragement:

I know you’re single sister, trying to navigate through all the mishaps of dating, dressing  and Divatude. Keep stepping, keep reaching and just know that when the dust settles from all the moves you make, from all the goals you meet we like you when you’re just being yourself, Au naturel, tender strong, vulnerable and confident.

Wives, we love your support, your nurturing, your power, we want to woo you like The Song of Solomon, and appreciate you like Proverbs 31. You juggle your career, our house, our kids without missing a beat. Lean on us, trust in us and believe in us the way we believe in you. You inspire us to be better boys, better sons, better fathers, better men.

In the morning when you get ready in the mirror  remember-the lipstick, gloss, blush and eye lashes only enhance you…so in honor of that beauty….

We see  the real you. We appreciate the real you.

“No make up today.”

Sincerely,

TheStyleGent

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Fashion Friday: Whatever Happened to Style?


“What ever happened to style?” This is the question that a Chrysler commercial asks. As I watched this commercial I was inspired to write a post about personal elegance. There was a time when men like William Powell, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard, Humphrey Bogart, Carey Grant, James Cagney, James Earl Jones, Sidney Poitier and Harry Belafonte graced us with their strength of will, character and effortless elegance. Women like Gloria Swanson, Kim Novak, Kate Hepburn, Rita Hayworth, Dorothy Dandridge, Ruby Dee, Dianne Carroll, Lena Horn mystified us with their strength, class and intelligence.  Those days are gone, or are they?

Personal style is directly connected to your values. It’s about defining yourself through your actions, the way you move through life, it’s about how you exit a room, and not how you enter it. Anyone can make a grand entrance, but can you leave a lasting impression after you’ve left? It’s about the mark you leave on the hearts and minds of people you interact with each day. I’m an advocate for the behavior behind the appearance. Many  readers who follow me on twitter know that my favorite tagline “What good is a new suit if the man inside is rotten?” is more than a catchphrase for me, it is a meditation. All of these actors are/were great actors, some are/were great people outside their craft. Some chose philanthropy, humanitarianism, some were ambassadors, artists, writers etc. What made them great was the incredible lasting impressions they left on us even to this day. They arrived but it was their body of work and influence that still make us refer to them as icons.

Whatever happened to style? That’s a question that we all can answer with our body of  life’s work.

Dress internally.

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Fashion Friday: Woman’s Style: A Gentleman’s Perspective


Fashion has taken many twists and turns through the years but the one thing that hasn’t changed is people’s need to express their personalities through clothing. Women and men do this slightly different. For years, men have dreaded even going into the store let alone trying on clothing. While most women keep up on the latest trends going on in style and fashion (I see a lot of women with a killer shoe, handbag & accessory game) most men prefer to “just get on with it,” picking just the basics in clothing and move on.

Things have changed in the past several years. Men have been become more and more interested in style and fashion. No longer does she have to say: “Are you really going to wear that?“ Blogs and magazines have set out a roadmap to help us to become proficient at matching, accessorizing and generally better companions when it comes to dressing. Translation: we won’t embarrass you anymore.

As a Gentleman I offer this as a message to the ladies: With this newfound interest in fashion some of us have gained we want you to know that even though we may enjoy flipping through Esquire, GQ and the many other magazines and books on style, for us it’s still sexy just to watch you strut your stuff and rock those killer Spring or Fall looks. We appreciate those A-line skirts, those peep-toed sling backs, the stacked heels, the dresses from Stop Staring, the way you turn heads when enter a room, or the way you grow your hair out in luscious natural curls or flowing straight wisps. we like you curvy, we like you confident, we want you to shine. And now that we have fashionably come into our own, we just want to look as good as you do when we step out with you on our dates, have that first inevitable meet & greet with your friends (we know you rate us when you excuse yourselves to go to the bathroom) or even one day meet the parents, we want to fashionably complete not compete.

This means we might have to negotiate closet space. As our interest gets larger, so does our wardrobes. So don’t be surprised if we want to go shopping. Of course you’ll have wait for us now while we go into Brooks Brothers, Sax or Nordstrom. But that’s a small price to pay for the both of us to look fly.

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Transformations: “Divas Wanna Know”-Her Love Questions Answered Pt II


A few weeks ago I was asked to take part in a blog series called “Divas Wanna Know” by @Jendiva of Mind of a Diva a great blog for women full of empowering posts that encourage women to redefine what it means to be a Diva. This is part II of questions that women wanted to ask men in a frank and honest way. I re-posted my answers here. I’m curious, what questions would you have asked? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

1. Do you see your ideal woman being introverted or extroverted?

I always saw myself with someone who was more extroverted because I’m like that but I discovered the woman who I fell in love with is introverted and I found that I’m more suited with that type.

Why do you like that type?

I like her type because of all the things I’ve learned from her. She’s more of an observer, notices a lot of the details because she’s not talking as much. So I’ve learned to be more balanced…observing as much as I speak and because of that it’s made me a wiser more insightful person.

2. What qualities do you admire most about a women and why?

I admire her emotional intelligence, her ability to empathize. I also admire her internal strength and her ability to do any and everything.

What do you like the least?

I really don’t like the pettiness and cattiness some women display.

3. When did you consider yourself to be emotionally secure to be comfortable with yourself ?

It was a process. By the time I was in my late 20’s I was pretty comfortable with the person that I had become. Although I must admit there were things that I learned and got better at as I got older.

4. For guys is it necessary that a woman have her own professional success?

Not necessarily, as long as she’s providing for herself and  accomplishing her purpose and passion.

5. Why do you believe that some women mistake a man being nice to them as flirting?

“She’s immune to Chivalry, Distracted by Game, Never had the former, So she thinks they’re the same.”

Basically some women mistake “niceness” for Game. They are used to guys wanting something from them. Because most guys use game to get what they want its difficult to distinguish that from true heartfelt chivalry.

6. Do you compare your mate to your mother? Consciously or subconsciously..

No.

7. How do guys decide if they are dealing with a woman who is a keeper versus a woman they can just have “fun” with?

N/A

I was never a guy who just wanted to have “fun” with a woman. I knew the difference between friendship, dating, and courtship. I didn’t date till I was ready to be in a relationship so I always discussed boundaries. I dated with purpose and found the person I was meant to be with quicker.

8. Are men bothered by their girl talking to her friends about their relationship?

Yes. Most of us are bothered by it. I know I make it a habit not to discuss intimate details of my relationship with anyone, not even my parents. We understand that you like “girl talk”, but there’s a line that you should stay within. General things like personal preferences, favorite things etc.

Are there topics that shouldn’t be discussed?

Yes. Conflicts or disagreements, sex and money should never be discussed with anyone outside the relationship because it only leads to more conflicts.

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