Tag Archives: Introspection

Monday Motivations: Shaking the Jekyll and Hyde Masculinity


Fredric March in production still from Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1931, dir. Rouben Mamoulian)

(photo by Gordon Head, via Hollywood Horror: Gothic to Cosmic)

“Man is not truly one but truly two”, is the essence of the Novella -The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This novelette written by Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887- about 120 years back. It is still the widely read masterpiece today.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the two characters of the novella are but one; one body two conflicting characters, the good and evil. what I find interesting is that the attire Dr. Jekyll wears is the clothing of what gentleman wore back  then. Dr. Jekyll walks & talks like a well-groomed, well read and well-bred refined man. But as we know just underneath the surface lies something sinister, something that is nothing like the picture above. This picture got me thinking about being genuine and to question who we really are on the inside. Jekyll’s problems began with his motives and desires.

As men it’s important to aspire to refine our personality, take an honest look at our flaws and make the needed changes that will elevate us to a greater sense of self or more importantly closer to what it means to be a gentleman. No amount of clothing, acting or appearance of genteel behavior will change what we may really be on the inside. Alfred Hyde ultimately destroyed the life of Dr. Jekyll. This is a cautionary tale of how it is important for us to be genuine in our intentions and in our actions. Dr. Jekyll was a player who became a pawn in his own game. I equate Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde to “Players”, men who talk like gentlemen, act like gentlemen, dress like gentlemen, but just under the surface they are something quite different. Let’s change this. We live in a society that tells men to express their masculinity based on their clothing, possessions, sexual prowess, or their physical power. With so much emphasis on the surface and what is transient, it’s tough to really know who is genuine and who is not. In the end though what’s important is to aspire to be better, more in touch of who we are on the inside. “What good is a new suit if the man inside is rotten?”

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Transformations: Monday Motivation-Living The Life of Mastery vs Mediocrity


 


I write a lot on this blog about changing yourself from the inside out. Becoming an “Internal Stylist”  to your personality is a very revealing and often surprising endeavor. “Character Tailoring” forces you to look in the mirror and see how you really think and feel about the real important issues in your life. This gentleman’s journey has had some  interesting twists and turns. And now I’m on the path to become the best possible version of myself. I feel as if I am giving my mind and heart a complete system overhaul like I would do my laptop. I’ve upgraded my attitude, re-installed my motivation and tweaked little habits here and there to run a little smoother, quieter and more efficient. The process has been full of crashes and reboots but I think I’ve become more compatible with my purpose and I’m now at version 4.0.

Maybe you’re in that same place, looking to upgrade, reboot and make some changes in your life to gain some mastery over your purpose or passion. Well, for most getting started isn’t an issue. We all have pretty good internal motivations. Some of us may not even have a problem staying the course. For most of us the trick I believe is staying balanced.

“Try not to think and act in extremes. Instead,  become a student of balance. There is wisdom in balance. Balance is the ability to see danger in excess or inertness. It’s the ability to  keep up our physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health-become a student of Balance.”

When we are balance we are able to look at ourselves in a constructive way (not too harshly or loosely) so that real change can be made and goals achieved. I often think about it this way: If the thing that you are reaching out for throws you out of sync with your health, relationships, your mental, spiritual and emotional stability, then you may be in danger of not being balanced. Mastery comes when we can say no to the interruptions of that balance. Life makes all of us its students, the key is learning in the least amount of time so we can get to our purpose faster. We do that by knowing ourselves, we get to know ourselves by questioning our motivations.

Some  people might say: “I don’t want to settle, sounds like balance is another word for mediocrity.” But balance isn’t like someone having no motivation at all. It’s the difference between doing nothing and doing too much at all cost. Here’s a suggestion: the next time you watch TVOne’s Life After or VH1’s Behind The Music think about the energy that was spent on the goals the person had and the physical, emotional and mental cost vs the happiness they did or did not gain. Ultimately, most of the people are happy because they found purpose or better yet, balance in the things that they are doing in their lives now . but it was only AFTER they learned to be balance did they really realize the full mastery of their purpose.

We all should live a life of passion, move closer to the thing that drives us to wake up in the morning and conquer our fears. Go out there.Work hard. Be. Do. Just remember to master the balance of goals vs the true cost to our happiness.

Dress Internally.

TheStyleGent

“Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.”

Henri L. Bergson (French philosopher, 1859 – 1941)

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Transformations: Monday Motivation – Ten Things to Remember and Avoid This Week


A good friend sent this to me about a year ago in an email and I thought it would be a good idea to frame a post around it. As we all start our week, it would be a great way to reinforce good habits  that have gotten us to where we are now, but also shine a microscope on things we may need to improve on.  Life for most of us has become ever so stressful and for some of us maybe even difficult, but if we can focus on these ten do’s and dont’s it may help change at least the way we feel about ourselves and improve our relationships with others.

Ten Things To Remember:

1. Do kind things for others without expecting a reward
2. Always improve yourself
3. Take responsibility for your own shortcomings
4. Complement yourself when things go well
5. Nurture friendships and relationships
6. Be aware and pay attention
7. Meet new people and try new things
9. Slow Down
8. Look up
10. Believe that good things can happen to you.

Ten Things To Avoid:

1. Don’t hide behind emotional walls
2. Don’t judge others
3. Avoid self-pity
4. Never forget that there will always be greater and lesser gifted people than yourself
5. Never let fear stand in your way
6. Never let your inner voice put you down
7. Avoid negative people
8. Try not to be suspicious of others without good reason
9. Don’t put yourself down in front of others
10. Don’t be a tool.

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Transformations: 4 Questions, 4 Qualities 4 L.O.V.E.


Sometimes in our relationships with our wives, girlfriends, fiancée etc we meet situations that challenge the way we think , the way we act and our whole process of interacting with them. Whether we are in the new stages of being a  couple or are old pros we need to constantly check how we treat each other. Men and women can ask themselves the following questions when making a decision in their relationships:

Is this the LOVING thing to do?
Is this the WISE thing to do?
Is this action JUST or one of integrity?
Is this decision going to POWERFULLY affect my relationship in a positive way?

Asking ourselves these questions can make us at the very least pause and reflect on what we do and how we act. We all have at one time had
a bad relationship and we all know that one or two bad apples really don’t spoil the bunch. It’s all about perspective. There are good girls and bad boys, good guys and bad girls. What matters is how we react to them. Let’s hope we don’t let those few who may have hurt us keep us from giving and getting one of the most basic human needs…LOVE.

Leave the past behind,

Open yourself to receive it.

Value the person you are with,

Everyday seek to improve yourself.

4 Questions, 4 Qualities 4 L.O.V.E.

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Transformations: Fear vs Love


“I believe that you are sincere and good at heart. If you do not attain happiness, always remember that you are on the right road, and try not to leave it. Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute. Avoid being scornful, both to others and to yourself. What seems to you bad within you will grow purer from the very fact of your observing it in yourself. Avoid fear, too, though fear is only the consequence of every sort of falsehood. Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love.”Fyodor Dostoevsky

 The Brothers Karamozov Book II Chapter 4: An Unfortunate Gathering

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