Tag Archives: Inspirational

Monday Motivations: Responding to “Black Male Anger”


Below is an article by Marie Roker-Jones @RaisingGreatMen That got a great discussion going on Google+ take a look at the link and leave your comments and thoughts on how men can heal the pain that anger sometimes hides.

My Plea to Angry Black Men

I know for some the knee jerk reaction to this would be a flurry of “unfollows”

(I re-tweeted this on Twitter) and banishment from Circles, or “you don’t really understand what we black men go through.” But really the issue of anger in men is a real one, even more so in black men. That said I think it’s important that we individually can be responsible for our anger and how we respond to the maligning of our group character.

As a black man I can truly say I’ve felt the frustration, anger and utter sadness at:

1.) The perpetual stereotyping of who they think I am

2.) My own brothers perpetuating that stereotype by responding incorrectly with many times even more violence.
How we respond to this kind of injustice is just as important as how we eradicate it. And that starts with self.

As Leo Tolstoy once said:

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

We need to model the behavior we want to see. We can be the role model in the small interactions we have with people in our everyday lives: our neighbors, co-workers, families or any other relationships we have.

When I think of role models I think of Sidney Poitier and Harry Belafonte. These men rose above the injustice of their time with strength, elegance, focus and intelligence. Finally, working on our personal emotional intelligence is key. How? Yes, visualizing may be one way, as well as acknowledging that those feelings of anger are actually a misinterpretation of hurt we as a group feel. These are just some of the building block’s to countering the reactive nature of anger.

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Monday Motivations: “No Makeup” Today

I don’t usually don’t write a lot of posts on women, but this Kendrick Lamar song struck me a certain way and I thought it best to talk to you today.

With all the pressures you face each day, the continuous assaults on your self-esteem, the pressure to keep up at work, at home and everywhere in between. This is an open letter of encouragement:

I know you’re single sister, trying to navigate through all the mishaps of dating, dressing  and Divatude. Keep stepping, keep reaching and just know that when the dust settles from all the moves you make, from all the goals you meet we like you when you’re just being yourself, Au naturel, tender strong, vulnerable and confident.

Wives, we love your support, your nurturing, your power, we want to woo you like The Song of Solomon, and appreciate you like Proverbs 31. You juggle your career, our house, our kids without missing a beat. Lean on us, trust in us and believe in us the way we believe in you. You inspire us to be better boys, better sons, better fathers, better men.

In the morning when you get ready in the mirror  remember-the lipstick, gloss, blush and eye lashes only enhance you…so in honor of that beauty….

We see  the real you. We appreciate the real you.

“No make up today.”



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My Focus

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Transformations: Monday Motivation – Ten Things to Remember and Avoid This Week

A good friend sent this to me about a year ago in an email and I thought it would be a good idea to frame a post around it. As we all start our week, it would be a great way to reinforce good habits  that have gotten us to where we are now, but also shine a microscope on things we may need to improve on.  Life for most of us has become ever so stressful and for some of us maybe even difficult, but if we can focus on these ten do’s and dont’s it may help change at least the way we feel about ourselves and improve our relationships with others.

Ten Things To Remember:

1. Do kind things for others without expecting a reward
2. Always improve yourself
3. Take responsibility for your own shortcomings
4. Complement yourself when things go well
5. Nurture friendships and relationships
6. Be aware and pay attention
7. Meet new people and try new things
9. Slow Down
8. Look up
10. Believe that good things can happen to you.

Ten Things To Avoid:

1. Don’t hide behind emotional walls
2. Don’t judge others
3. Avoid self-pity
4. Never forget that there will always be greater and lesser gifted people than yourself
5. Never let fear stand in your way
6. Never let your inner voice put you down
7. Avoid negative people
8. Try not to be suspicious of others without good reason
9. Don’t put yourself down in front of others
10. Don’t be a tool.

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Transformations: 4 Questions, 4 Qualities 4 L.O.V.E.

Sometimes in our relationships with our wives, girlfriends, fiancée etc we meet situations that challenge the way we think , the way we act and our whole process of interacting with them. Whether we are in the new stages of being a  couple or are old pros we need to constantly check how we treat each other. Men and women can ask themselves the following questions when making a decision in their relationships:

Is this the LOVING thing to do?
Is this the WISE thing to do?
Is this action JUST or one of integrity?
Is this decision going to POWERFULLY affect my relationship in a positive way?

Asking ourselves these questions can make us at the very least pause and reflect on what we do and how we act. We all have at one time had
a bad relationship and we all know that one or two bad apples really don’t spoil the bunch. It’s all about perspective. There are good girls and bad boys, good guys and bad girls. What matters is how we react to them. Let’s hope we don’t let those few who may have hurt us keep us from giving and getting one of the most basic human needs…LOVE.

Leave the past behind,

Open yourself to receive it.

Value the person you are with,

Everyday seek to improve yourself.

4 Questions, 4 Qualities 4 L.O.V.E.

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