Tag Archives: Character

Monday Motivations: Fake Fashion, True Trendsetting


Monday Motivations: Fake Fashion, True Trendsetting

There are as many places on the net that will tell you what, when, why and who to wear. But there is something much more important than the latest instagram “selfie” or the latest and greatest place to find that killer look. More important than our outer appearance is the person we are each day when we “suit up,” our inner person. Have we achieved and clothed ourselves in the best qualities that will make us a better person each day? We live in a world fraught with frivolity, fifteen minute fame and superficiality. Reality TV titillates our taste buds for bad behavior and the exploitation of our women, perpetuates our propensity and toleration of the Man-child and ultimately corrupts our views of healthy relationships.

Lets get refocused. Let’s not be the social norm, let’s be true trendsetters. Let’s rally around substance over surface, selflessness over selfishness. Let’s stop trying to live the THE lifestyle and start living purposeful lives. Let’s start addressing the issues that keep us from having healthy relationships with our sons & daughters, husbands or wives, our baby’s mothers or fathers, Let’s start spending more time on the person we are on the INSIDE as we do on the outside. Let’s be character tailors, true trendsetters, let’s…

“Vestire Internamente”
(Dress Internally)

TheStyleGent

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Monday Motivations: Responding to “Black Male Anger”


black-man-angry

Below is an article by Marie Roker-Jones @RaisingGreatMen That got a great discussion going on Google+ take a look at the link and leave your comments and thoughts on how men can heal the pain that anger sometimes hides.

My Plea to Angry Black Men

I know for some the knee jerk reaction to this would be a flurry of “unfollows”

(I re-tweeted this on Twitter) and banishment from Circles, or “you don’t really understand what we black men go through.” But really the issue of anger in men is a real one, even more so in black men. That said I think it’s important that we individually can be responsible for our anger and how we respond to the maligning of our group character.

As a black man I can truly say I’ve felt the frustration, anger and utter sadness at:

1.) The perpetual stereotyping of who they think I am

2.) My own brothers perpetuating that stereotype by responding incorrectly with many times even more violence.
How we respond to this kind of injustice is just as important as how we eradicate it. And that starts with self.

As Leo Tolstoy once said:

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

We need to model the behavior we want to see. We can be the role model in the small interactions we have with people in our everyday lives: our neighbors, co-workers, families or any other relationships we have.

When I think of role models I think of Sidney Poitier and Harry Belafonte. These men rose above the injustice of their time with strength, elegance, focus and intelligence. Finally, working on our personal emotional intelligence is key. How? Yes, visualizing may be one way, as well as acknowledging that those feelings of anger are actually a misinterpretation of hurt we as a group feel. These are just some of the building block’s to countering the reactive nature of anger.

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Fashion Friday: ‘Suit and Substance’ a Curious Collaboration of Content Curation


Suit and Substance is my new Flipboard magazine.It will aim to inspire men to up their style skill in 3 main areas: Character, Competency and Clothing. It’s designed to urge you to be the best you can be with innovative and inspiring videos, pictures and insightful writing that focuses on living a life of passion through purpose. A little off centered but always engaging, Suit and Substance aims to be not your everyday mens magazine. Stay tuned, Suit and Substance will launch June 2013

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Monday Motivations: The Art Of Dressing Internally


“A Sator/Seamstress knows that every loose thread on a garment must be either cut off or sewn into place for clothes to look refined. The ‘Character Tailor’ understands that loose threads in his or her personality also need to be cut or sewn place in order for growth and maturation to occur.” – 

TheStyleGent

In the fashion industry, spring/summer is a great time for designers to showcase their fresh new satorial pieces, shed the heavy, dark colors of winter and shift to lighter and brighter fabrics. This gets us ready and excited for the new styles of the season. It’s also the time when we shake off the winter doldrums, get a new lease on our motivations and passions. But above all, we re-focus on our purpose. I like to call this process “Internal Styling.”

Internal Styling is the art of dressing ourselves from the inside out. It means we develop character based skills needed to meet our goals, expand our thinking and deepen our relationships with others. It requires we re-examine our longtime habits and thought processes to ultimately move closer to our personal purpose.

How do we begin? How can we focus on making sure we look just as good on the inside as we’d like to look on the outside? When we pick out clothing, we usually choose according to our personal tastes. We are often inspired by celebrities, musicians, designers or even that guy or girl at work who always has impeccable taste in clothing.

Likewise, the first thing we should do is give some serious thought to who we look to or associate with. This is a good indicator where our values lie. Who we spend the bulk of our time with can either help or hinder where we want to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Associating with those who will inspire us to be better and hold us accountable is the one of the first steps to dressing internally.

Secondly, what do we feed our minds on? Are we absorbing information that will increase our understanding of ourselves and  how we can elevate our mental, emotional and spiritual self? Often times we are eager to read material that will benefit us economically because we can see the results manifested visually: a new wardrobe, car, house etc. Now I’m not knocking prosperous thinking. But when we are focusing on dressing internally the results are less apparent because they are not as tangible to the naked eye and are character based. They are seen gradually over a longer period of time.

Lastly, we have to remove any obstructions that keep us from being the best person that we can be. Since the goal is to improve our character, anyone or anything that jeopardizes that elevation has to be held under scrutiny. Dream Killers, Emotional Vampires, Mental Anchors, Haters, whatever you want to call them; All of these things have to be cleared away so that we can stay focused on improving our character.

When we do these three things:

1. Examine who we spend our time with.
2. What we feed our mind on.
3. Remove any mental and emotional obstructions.

We will not only change ourselves, but it can also encourage and inspire others.

Today, the world needs more Thought Leaders, Servant Leaders and Mentors to challenge us and our ideological differences. Could you become one of them? Dressing internally is a powerful and way to look at our motives, question ourselves and possibly take steps to become one of these types of people. It can enhance the way we interact with our family, friends, and colleagues. It improves and deepens our relationships and ultimately keeps us thinking and acting in line with our personal purpose.

“Elegance is a question of personality, more than one’s clothing”Jean Paul Gaultier

TheStyleGent

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Transformations: Monday Motivation-Living The Life of Mastery vs Mediocrity


 


I write a lot on this blog about changing yourself from the inside out. Becoming an “Internal Stylist”  to your personality is a very revealing and often surprising endeavor. “Character Tailoring” forces you to look in the mirror and see how you really think and feel about the real important issues in your life. This gentleman’s journey has had some  interesting twists and turns. And now I’m on the path to become the best possible version of myself. I feel as if I am giving my mind and heart a complete system overhaul like I would do my laptop. I’ve upgraded my attitude, re-installed my motivation and tweaked little habits here and there to run a little smoother, quieter and more efficient. The process has been full of crashes and reboots but I think I’ve become more compatible with my purpose and I’m now at version 4.0.

Maybe you’re in that same place, looking to upgrade, reboot and make some changes in your life to gain some mastery over your purpose or passion. Well, for most getting started isn’t an issue. We all have pretty good internal motivations. Some of us may not even have a problem staying the course. For most of us the trick I believe is staying balanced.

“Try not to think and act in extremes. Instead,  become a student of balance. There is wisdom in balance. Balance is the ability to see danger in excess or inertness. It’s the ability to  keep up our physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health-become a student of Balance.”

When we are balance we are able to look at ourselves in a constructive way (not too harshly or loosely) so that real change can be made and goals achieved. I often think about it this way: If the thing that you are reaching out for throws you out of sync with your health, relationships, your mental, spiritual and emotional stability, then you may be in danger of not being balanced. Mastery comes when we can say no to the interruptions of that balance. Life makes all of us its students, the key is learning in the least amount of time so we can get to our purpose faster. We do that by knowing ourselves, we get to know ourselves by questioning our motivations.

Some  people might say: “I don’t want to settle, sounds like balance is another word for mediocrity.” But balance isn’t like someone having no motivation at all. It’s the difference between doing nothing and doing too much at all cost. Here’s a suggestion: the next time you watch TVOne’s Life After or VH1’s Behind The Music think about the energy that was spent on the goals the person had and the physical, emotional and mental cost vs the happiness they did or did not gain. Ultimately, most of the people are happy because they found purpose or better yet, balance in the things that they are doing in their lives now . but it was only AFTER they learned to be balance did they really realize the full mastery of their purpose.

We all should live a life of passion, move closer to the thing that drives us to wake up in the morning and conquer our fears. Go out there.Work hard. Be. Do. Just remember to master the balance of goals vs the true cost to our happiness.

Dress Internally.

TheStyleGent

“Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.”

Henri L. Bergson (French philosopher, 1859 – 1941)

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