Transformations: Men, Self-Esteem and Relationships

In a earlier post I talked about a man’s perception of beauty. Now, I can’t and wont speak for most men. However, I think a discussion on a man’s self-esteem as it relates to his choices in his relationships is worthwhile. Self-esteem is not just a woman’s issue. With the economy being in serious trouble and the earning roles of families changing, some men are having to re-examine themselves in ways they never had to before. The epidemic of “Father Hunger” in our communities also has had a massive effect on the way some men feel about themselves. With these issues in play, a man’s self-esteem can be deeply connected to the choices made in terms of the women they choose to sleep with, date or even marry. Even if he had a father or depending how he was raised, a man’s self-esteem can decide if  he sees a woman as a threat to his “man-hood” or a partner in his relationship.

If a man sees himself as a “ladies man,” observes the way his peers treat women and under subtle peer pressure, become emotionally detached, seeing woman as nothing more than objects to be played with, used or even worse, treated with disrespect.

If he’s an “aggressive man” he may have seen the way his Father treated or controlled his Mother and carried that over into his own relationships, possibly leading to emotional and physical violence.

If he is a “passive man” he may not have had a father to guide him or observed a dominating Mother and now chooses women who either do the same to him or don’t encourage him to take the lead in the family.

Hopefully through it all he aspires to be the healthy balance of an “assertive man” who understands the need to use his power to protect and encourage, his wisdom to guide the course of his life, love to fill his life with humility and mildness to see her as his partner and life-mate.

Now I know that you can’t put all men into these categories but what you can do is ask yourself do I fit into one of these types of men? Can I strive to be embody the qualities that will move me closer to becoming a better man than I am now? Food for thought.

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About TheStyleGent

I blog about character, competency and clothing. Giving back, living well and looking sharp is how you live life with style. What good is a new suit if the man inside is rotten?

View all posts by TheStyleGent


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